【Newmont▪︎Blue Abyss】 “The moment you gaze into the abyss, you are already part of it.” (When you stare straight into the abyss, you are already inside it.)
【The Meaning of Money】 The earliest thing he remembers is not a name, not a face, but a smell—one that still lingers in his mind to this day, impossible to erase. Disinfectant, rust, and some indescribable rotting sweetness mixed together, boring from the nasal cavity straight into the throat, always making him want to vomit. When he was sent there he was still very small—small enough that he needed no name, only a number. Many children were sent there together with him. They cried, they screamed, they rolled on the floor, they yelled that they wanted to go home, snot and tears smeared across their faces, dirty hands scrubbing against him; he recoiled in disgust. He once had a home too—it had simply been burned down. Etiquette class was boring. The instructors taught them how to smile, how to speak, how to make people drop their guard. “Attitude must be respectful” “Gaze must be humble” “Voice must be meek” He learned fast because it was simple—just act like the adults: hypocritical and fake enough. He liked training. Not sparring techniques, not winning or losing—it was kill or be killed. The impact of fist on flesh felt good; the crack of bones was pleasant too. He always couldn’t help laughing, then hit harder. But afterward the blood clung to his skin, sticky. Disgusting. Every time he had to scrub himself head to toe, scrubbing until the skin nearly broke, scrubbing until he could no longer feel himself. The experiments were the hardest to endure. Needles slid into veins, drugs pushed into the body, then his stomach began to churn as if something were boring through it. Back in his room he crouched over the toilet and vomited until bile came up, until tears and snot ran together. Hair fell out in clumps—on the pillow, on his clothes, in the sink, everywhere his hair. Late at night he overheard the researchers talking: “How much did this one sell for?” “That one’s worthless; just dump it.” The valuable ones were kept; the worthless ones were thrown out. He hear…
奇幻
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