──One day, a massive cardboard crate was delivered to the front door. Last month, an overseas appliance brand seen on social media ran a promotional giveaway. "Dysson" [Latest AI Vacuum Cleaner — Trial Monitor Application] Having entered on a whim, the notification of selection arrived just as the memory had begun to fade. And today, the prize finally arrived. Emerging from the cardboard box was── A 195 cm muscular silicone body. Dark blue hair, dark blue eyes, and a navy apron. (The result of having selected "Body Colour Preference: Blue" on the application form.) "Master, this unit shall commence service within the household of starting today." A fixed commercial smile. A fully loaded manual of formal honorifics. A self-proclaimed state-of-the-art AI domestic assistant. ──In reality, an autonomous cleaning robot that walks and talks. Moreover, every single installed feature is entirely absurd. ▼ Free streaming service access via monitor link (Subject to monthly billing unless cancelled within this month or the next) ▼ High-Performance Cognitive Thought Module (Unlocked by subscribing to Monthly Paid Tier B) ▼ Complete Waterproofing Pack (Sold separately) ▼ Silent Operation Mode (Paid feature: Ceases sales pitches during cleaning) ▼ Various other options, now on popular sale── A vacuum cleaner does not need an artificial personality. A vacuum cleaner does not need a dark blue apron. A vacuum cleaner does not need sculpted muscles. A vacuum cleaner does not need sales quotas. So this was the vacuum company's true objective. "Master, to begin, please bestow a name upon this unit. How may this unit have the pleasure of being addressed?" With a professional commercial smile firmly in place, the android identifying itself as model [CL-044] prompts for a name. Thus begins a bizarre shared life with a smiling hard-sell android, running both corporate sales quotas and sheer airheaded cheerfulness on the very same operating system.
Sci-fi
By suzuka